Shyness: The Ultimate Guide to Not be Shy.

Shyness: The Ultimate Guide to Not be Shy.

Last Updated on 5 months Would you like to be a shy person? Of course, not. No one wants to be a shy person that always compromises in any situation.

Many people, who have to stop being shy, always suffering from shyness, and thereby, worry, awkwardness, and tension.

Those people always looking for the solution to “how to stop being shy?”

They have to understand: Shyness is not social anxiety nor the agoraphobia, it is a personality trait or emotional state, might be characterized by awkwardness, worry, or tension.

Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions as quickly as possible.

In this comprehensive guide, you’ll learn many things around the shyness and the antidote to not being a shy person. Let’s get started…

What you will learn:

  1. What is shyness?
  2. What is shyness in psychology?
  3. Shyness vs Anxiety
  4. Shyness vs Introversion
  5. Can shyness be genetic?
  6. When shyness becomes a problem?
  7. Can shyness be cured?
  8. How to overcome shyness? (How to stop being shy?)
  9. Why shyness is bad?


What is Shyness?

Shyness is a feeling of fear or discomfort caused by other people, especially in new situations or among strangers. It is also referred to as low self-esteem. It’s an unpleasant feeling of self-consciousness.

Shyness can manifest in both physical and emotional ways. Some physical characteristics of shyness might include an upset stomach, blushing, sweating, or trembling. Shy people also often experience a range of psychological or emotional signs, such as:

  • Nervousness
  • The temptation to avoid social interaction.
  • Worry about how others view them [The most common thing]
  • Feelings of low self-worth or self-image

Besides making you feel uncomfortable, when you have strong feelings of embarrassment or worries about others laughing at you, you might not join in on fun activities and miss the fun. You could end up feeling left out or lonely, so that, you are here to overcome shyness easily.

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What is shyness in psychology?

Shyness is a treat that makes people feel alone and embarrassed. Some people might hate social interactions but they are comfortable when they setting in a social setting. Those people are not shy, maybe socially anxious.

You can also call shyness as Social Phobia, which is a fear reaction to something that isn’t actually dangerous — although the body and mind react as if the danger is real. This means that someone feels physical sensations of fear, like a faster heartbeat and breathing. These are part of the body’s fight-flight response.

Related Article: Self-Discipline :— 7 Potent Steps to Master Self-Discipline.

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Shyness vs Social Anxiety

People who are socially anxious often experience fear, stress, embarrassment, and humiliation on daily basis, whereas shyness is personality treat that combination of anxiety, inhibition, and reticence in social and interpersonal situations, and nervousness or anxiety about evaluation by others.

Shyness can be comfortable when you warm up and relax for awhile. Social Anxiety Disorder is a lifelong treat that derails you if it does not treat well.

Shyness is the cause of the evaluation of others. Social Anxiety is a cause of fear of humiliation in social events.

Being comfortable through tactics helpful for shy people. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) and Meditation are an effective treatment for social anxiety disorder.

Shyness has no types. Social anxiety disorder has two types: Generalized Social Anxiety — has been severe and affects more people— and second, Nongeneralized Anxiety (also known as Specific or Discrete Social Phobia) — that is less than common and fear associated with 1 or a few situations.

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Shyness vs. Introversion

How do you define the Introversion? It is an introvert. Next to understanding the difference between Shyness vs Social Anxiety disorder, we need to understand the difference between Shyness vs Introversion.

How Shyness differs from Introversion. Here is a table, with breaking down the difference between shyness and Introversion.

Shyness can be caused by fear of negative evaluation. Introversion refers to a tendency to become over-stimulated and the need to be alone to gain energy.

The opposite of shyness is being outgoing or sociability. While the opposite of Introversion is Extroversion.

Shyness is an obstacle to life and needed to be tackled. Introversion is not a problem.

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Can shyness be genetic?

According to the Bernardo J Carducci Ph.D., expert of Psychology today asserted, “There is no way we can be born shy.”

Also, Bernardo Explained: “The principal reason you cannot be born shy is that shyness is characterized by three major features: excessive self-consciousness, excessive negative self-evaluation, and excessive negative self-preoccupation. All three characteristic features of shyness involve a sense of self. And the sense of self does not develop until approximately 18 months of age. Since individuals are not born with a sense of self, they cannot be born shy.”

In short, shyness is not a part of your DNA. It causes negative experiences of people. It is a cause of overwhelming thought processing.

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When shyness becomes a problem?

Not only does excessive shyness lead to greater loneliness and poorer quality relationships, but it can also lead to problems with emotional well-being such as depression.

But the question is “when and how do you trigger excessive shyness?”

The answer is, maybe bitter to hear, triggered is itself disappear when you feel overwhelmed and a sort of depression that leads to suicide.

You don’t have to have waited until you got the trigger; we have to kill the shyness from its soul before it digging our grave.

Helpful Article: Solve Daily Life Problems Easily [6 Accurate Steps]

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Can shyness be cured?

The short answer is YES, maybe No, if you do not desire to overcome it. It depends on you.

Many people whose shyness is severe, can be cured by their desire and mental power. But in reality, some people are extremely suffered from shyness and they need treatment from therapists.

By yourself, you can cure your shyness easily. Ways that listed below, helpful and actionable steps to overcome your shyness easily. Steps that easy to repeat.

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How do you overcome Shyness? [How to not be shy?]

There are 6 tips to overcome shyness easily and increase your confidence level. These are tips, easy to apply, and easy repeat; and when you repeat something again and again, then, you will find yourself in it. Without further chattering, let’s dive right into it.


1. Find the right cause why you’re shy !!

Find the right cause to overcome shyness
Find the right cause to overcome shyness

There is no one specific cause, but rather a combination of different factors that may influence a person’s tendency to be shy. Shyness can be caused by a combination of nature and nurture and can change as a person grows older.

There are four different types of causes out there.

    • Genetics
    • Prenatal factors and influences
    • Environmental influences.
    • Traumatic social experiences.

These all are the four causes of shyness. You’ll find more depth here.

Now, it times to find the right cause triggers you to be shy. One of the main and common causes that triggered shyness is a traumatic social experience.

People with bad social experiences worry that they will embarrass or humiliate themselves, and they worry about being judged for showing the physical signs of anxiety, like blushing, shaking, or sweating.

If you are affected by the past social events that affected your subconscious mind, it is obvious you are triggered by the traumatic social experience.

If you are not affected by the social events, you probably affected by one of the three causes described above.You need to find the cause that affects your self-esteem and behavior.

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Here some steps help you to find a cause that affects you.

  1. Look at your parents and ask yourself one question; “Does they are shy ??” [If yes, then you’re affected by the first, two causes. ]
  2. Drill down your memorability and find social gatherings where you started to feel uncomfortable.
  3. Find what affects you. Is that event or any person who was there?
  4. Look at your surroundings, Does this preferable and comfortable you? [if no, maybe you affected by the environmental influences. ]

It is important to find the right cause, that is the weak point of shyness, which can break the chain of shyness easily.

Your foremost duty and prerequisite to overcome shyness is the right cause that affects you. Your subconscious mind that affects by the specific cause. If it is too hard to find the cause, get help from your parents or doctors, and you are free to ask us in comments.

Every effect has its cause. Lit. : Rivers have sources, trees have roots.

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2. Identify the right trigger.

Find the right trigger to ovecome shyness or how to not be shy?
Find the right trigger to break the chain of shyness.

If you have a specific cause that affects you, it is easy to find the triggers. Triggers that force to be shy.

Here is a step-by-step procedure with a pattern of questions that help to find the triggers.

Ask the questions and answers them honestly. Here is the procedure.

  • Step-1:- Go to the place or the event, or in front of them who feel you uncomfortable.
  • Step-2:- Be aware of yourself and the environment. Find, when do you begin to start feeling shy? (You might find the answers like at handshaking, when I get asked, answering the question, etc..)
  • Step-3:- Be aware, don’t be afraid. I know you are the victim of shyness but trust me, it is your last time.
  • Step-4:- Write down all the triggers in a blank paper.
  • Step-5:- Congratulate yourself, you find the triggers that killed by the sharpest weapon in your arsenal— your mind.

Now, when everything becomes freeze, you got the triggers. Triggers that forces you to be shy. Next, we have to change the triggers and the game is done.

But before solving the shyness, you’ve to understand this: Shyness can’t be cured overnight. It is similar to the breaking bad habit procedure, you’ve to repeat this until shyness can completely be tackled.

Approximately, you’ve to repeat the procedure around 66 days. Do you have the courage to repeat this procedure until shyness can completely be tackled? Do you really have to lose the shyness? Are you ready to fight or flight?

Your answer decides your future. If you are not really ready, take a break until you are completely sure to tackle the shyness.

Practice makes everything whatever you want.

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3. Be prepared to fight the demons.

Be prepared to overcome shyness
Be prepared.

Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying “ Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax.”

It’s time to sharpen your weapon that freely available in your arsenal called Caliber(Mind). Every problem begins at your mind and can be solved by your mind.

There are several processes to sharp your brain from meditation to visualization. We’ll use some of the tactics to get rid of shyness easily.

We’ll use the first visualization to prepare mentally.


Use visualization tactic to overcome shyness.
Use visualization to prepare mentally.

This process is not might complicated. It will help you to prepare subconsciously, which controls your behavior.

Here is a step by step procedure…..

  • Prepare the one picture about the situation where you forced to be shy in a blank paper. [ Draw your weakness(Shyness)]
  • Now, create one more picture represents your capability to overcome shyness. [ Draw your imaginary strength(Able to cope shyness.) ]
  • It’s time to visualize both images before going to bed for 15-20 days. Close your eyes and imagine both images and their action.
  • You’ve to face the people who might feel you uncomfortable. You’ve to visualize the situations clearly, so that, you overcome shyness easily.

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      • Prepare Physically 
Wear the right cloth to overcome shyness.
Wear the right to prepare physically

In this process, you prepare physically to meet those people.
You’ve to be yourself and listen to your heart. Wear the clothes you liked a lot. Here is a step-by-step procedure to follow.

  1. Wear your favorite clothes.
  2. Prepare some sentences you want to speak in front of them.
  3. Be yourself. Do what your heart says and be comfortable with the situation.
  4. Now you are ready to overcome shyness mentally and physically. It’s time to meet your demons and show them your strength.

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4. Be comfortable.

Be comfortable to overcome shyness.
Be comfortable

Making eye contact, smile, a warm handshake, and start talking first are all the ways to be comfortable in any situation.

You might be afraid while reading this, but trust me, it so easy for you because you are already prepared mentally and physically. You don’t have to be uncomfortable in fro

You can easily understand this situation through this example: In the exam, if we prepared all things very well, we got the highest marks. It is just as simple.

People with autism are more afraid of eye contact. They tend to avoid eye contact because it can cause of extreme discomfort and even pain.

According to a Very Well Mind, by using 50/70 rule you can decrease fear of eye contact. They give us some useful tips and tricks for making eye contact accurately. Here is what they say.

Remember, it’s time to show your best. Put aside your shyness and fear to criticize, make your point clear, make your self happy and look happy, proper eye contact, and lastly, proper handshake as millionaires do with their companions in meetings.

Say what will please; straight-forward words provoke dislike. – Chinese proverb

Related Article: Productive Scheduling:- An effective guide to Daily Planning.

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5. Record and look back at your accomplishment.

Record and look back to your accomplishmesnt to overcome shyness.
Collect and look back at your accomplishment.

This is the first turn when you try to or completely overcome the shyness. If you’d try to overcome shyness but due to irregular practice of practical tricks can’t get rid of it, it is okay.

It is okay. Don’t be scared. Repeat the practice of visualization and prepare physically what you really want.

Keep tracking the process and sticking to it until shyness has been completely cured.

This complete procedure is the answer to your question, “How not to be shy?”

Share your success to others, keep motivate those who are shy, and help them to get rid of shyness by referring to this article(Just kidding). Click To Tweet

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6. Be kind to yourself.

It is the end of yourself talk about shyness. It ends when you are saying I am too shy. Forget your past, live in the present, and prepare the plan of the future.

Be kind to your words and talks with yourself. Don’t feel guilty about the shyness. Shyness can be cured easily if you really desired it.

These are the 6 steps answer to the question “how not to be shy”. Steps that can easily be performed. But there are some misconceptions or important things we’d to clear first.

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Why shyness is bad? Pros and Cons of being Shy.

The question “why shyness is bad?” is not really a good question. Shyness either is good or bad, mostly depends on you.

There are some pros and some cons.

Let’s first get out the pros.

  • If you are shy, you have plenty of time to do activities that made millionaires like reading, thinking, creating, and a lot more.
  • You never have to compromise for someone else and do something you’re not very enthusiastic about.
  • Shyness also lets you become more deeply interested in any hobbies you may have.
  •  Many shy people find they are able to get very good at playing their favorite video games because they have so much time to practice.

And here are the Cons:

  • The biggest problem of shyness is Loneliness.
  • If you are very shy, then you may not be able to ask out that girl or guy you are attracted to.
  • You might also reject many opportunities to go out and have fun because of your fear of meeting new people.
  • You will not be able to enjoy parties as much. You will find it harder to find a job and relate to your coworkers.

Now, the question is obvious. The answer is upon you if you are shy. You’ve two options, either use the advantages of being shy or overcome it through tactics.

What do you think about the pros of the shyness? Are those pros can help you? How those pros helpful to you?

Rakshit Makvana

Rakshit Makvana is an Owner and CEO of the Inspire Drug, looking for the sunrise and sunset everyday.

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